As the trailer for Keira’s latest movie, Anna Karenina, splashes across the Internet, we are reminded of how flawless Knightley’s skin, hair, face, okay everything is. Though Keira has breathtaking looks, her teeth are not perfect, which we like about her. Of course when you have cheekbones like that, you could have a mouth full of Chiclet© teeth and few would notice. While Keira’s beauty is era-spanning, we suspect our foresisters were a big chubbier than Keira since they mostly ate, sat, ate, sat, ate, sewed, ate, played the piano and ate.
Her face is angular and delicious, as Sprockets from SNL would say. Her cheekbones look genetically engineered and it’s just not right that her lips, chest and her a** are voluptuous. Where’s the justice in that? There isn’t any. When you can put a checkmark by every beauty feature that women covet the world over, you can play any role, from any time period. In fact, you can sit in front of a movie camera for two hours, do nothing, and it would still be a blockbuster. Scarlett proved this in The Other Boleyn Girl when she made all of us wish that floor-length bodice-busters would come back in style. Oh well. Maybe she has a large, unsightly, hairy mole on her back or perhaps she has an extra toe. We can only hope.
Guinevere, oh Guinevere. Even Gywneth’s name has a medieval royalty ring to it. With her lithe figure (how we love to hate her for that) and her natural, makeup-free beauty (yep, we love to hate her for that, too), she’s another effortless beauty who can play the girl next door or William Shakespeare’s love. “It seems she hangs upon the cheek of night like a rich jewel in an Ethiope’s ear.” Whatever the hell that means. All we know is Gwyneth was meant for the big screen — yesterday, today and tomorrow.
We don’t know if it’s the British accent, the perfectly oval face, the porcelain skin or that romance-novel red ringlets she used to wear that gave Kate such a Victorian aura. Whatever it is, she looks like she should be ruling a kingdom of adoring subjects. We will forever love her for her sassy portrayal of Rose from The Titanic, especially when she popped off and said, “I see you had that undertaker of a manservant follow me,” and “Oh stop it, Mother. You’ll give yourself a nosebleed.” That’s our Kate — feisty and forever fabulous.
This Cate transcends time and place with her doe-eyed, highbrow loveliness. Long hair, short hair, blonde hair, red hair — it matters not what Cate does, she never loses her regal and supreme queenly countenance. Let’s hope casting directors for the next Phillipa Gregory movie remember Cate when it’s time to hire cinematic royalty.
Images courtesy of WENN.com